Thursday, September 20, 2012

5 Movies That Traumatized Me Forever

It's no secret that when it comes to scary movies, I'm a big baby. It doesn't take much to freak me out or make me lose sleep over something, so I've learned to just avoid scary movies in general (even though most nowadays suck). Don't get me wrong, it's not Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, or any of the old school badies that haunt me; they're human, no matter how inhuman they become, and (despite the numerous sequels) they can be defeated, if only temporarily. It's the things that stop for nothing, the ones that don't get beaten in the end, and the creatures that simply don't make sense. Here are the 5 movies that ruined my life forever and left me scarred.

5. Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964): Don't ask why, I don't even know. I only saw it when I was super-young, so I barely even remember this movie. I mostly remember waking up that night, screaming over Mothra. I'm sure the movie's stupid or hokey, but I won't rewatch it, no way. I trust my childhood instincts.






4. Deep Blue Sea (1999): I saw this movie when I was 8 or 9, which were the key years of my fascination of marine life and the ocean. I was enamored with dolphins, the superheroes of the waters, so I guess it was only a matter of time before I had to be exposed to the horrifying madness of the ultimate marine villains, the sharks. Sharks are terrifying as it is, but these sharks were smarter, faster, and hungrier. No sir, not okay. I'll go swimming again, but something touches me in the water and I'm freaking out, freshwater or salt. This movie forever branded sharks as the enemy for me, and it's not changing anytime soon.


3. Leprechaun (1993): Most people give me crap for freaking out over this one, but seriously guys, small things are scary. Combine smallness with murder and magic and it's over for me. I didn't watch the entire movie, but I saw that little, evil leprechaun and my 8-year old self left the room. Ten years later, and I still refuse to watch it. No sir, not being done. It doesn't help that leprechaun's always look angry and grumpy all the time anyway, like they're just wanting to pull the same crap as this one.





2: The Grudge (2004): I'm not even posting the picture for this one, purely because just seeing the picture scares me. This movie has scarred me in ways I could never express. Look, I love Japan and dream of going there, but this would stop me from buying a plane ticket. I see these guys everywhere; if it's dark and I see anything white hanging around, I'm under my covers and dry-sobbing for mercy. The mom scares me, the kid scares me, her sister scares me, everything. I don't care if it's dark or not, if someone makes that death-rattle noise around me, they're getting punched the hell out.

1. Paranormal Activity (2009): Hm, 2 years in a closet with Kayako or 2 minutes in a field with Katie? Bring on the closet, no questions asked. This movie ruined my life permanently, AND THEY KEEP MAKING MORE!!! I get teased relentlessly for this, but I think it's completely reasonable. I had no idea what this movie was about going in (I thought it was a documentary) and I have a fear of not seeing what's after me, so a scary demon messing around with people destroyed me in one blow, and it's not hot anime demons, it's a real one, from hell. I don't care if demons are real or not, or how fake the movie is, I couldn't see the thing, it can possess people, and you can't stop something like that. My life is over. I couldn't sleep for months, and by the time I could, they announced a sequel. I went to see that one, thinking that I might find closure, only to realize no Kayla, it only got worse. They have another coming out this year, and I'm not doing it, I refuse to. I'll stop being friends with people before I go see that thing. Three a.m. keeps me on my toes, I keep my feet inside my blanket at all times while sleeping, and somebody says anything regarding "demon" or "ghost", I'm bailing, sorry party members.

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